Saturday, October 6, 2007
Welcome to the Suck
So I've been back at my university for almost two months now, and while I made a promise to try and make this a good semester for me, it's getting rough every way I turn.
The first week I received two tickets for parking in the Events garage (which was labeled student parking on the official campus map), and for not having a parking pass displayed (even though it was in fact hanging from my rearview mirror, but with the parking services meter maids being men over the age of 60 who can barely get in and out of their official looking Parking Services Dodge pickup I'm not surprised they can't see a bright green envelope sized piece of plastic hanging in a windshield. So the next week I get scheduled for an appeal of the ticket for the next Friday.
Ok move along, but slowly, because I've been hit with a flu shipped first class from Malaysia; I can't breath, I'm feverish, and my head feels like if you tapped it, you just might pop it. Then as the flu finally settles on congesting my chest and nothing more, I get rear ended on the way to school due to the average Orlando residents lacking the ability to properly make right turns. I make it on campus only to find they've closed down one of the main student parking garages "For Event." Oh cruel irony, and they've closed it all day for something happening at 8pm tonight? Shakespeare, you've met your match.
No matter, I'm cool, I'm hip, I deal, I study, I go to class, I'm fine. I enjoy my Chick-Fil-A sandwich and potato waffles like any other day and head to the library, parking my bike and secluding myself to a half lit desk to try and get caught up in reading for a few classes. Two hours later I step out back into the world, stopping short at the bottom of the library steps when I look where I had left my bike. Keyword "had." For now it is nowhere to be found, not even at any of the bike racks I had left it at before (I checked in case my memory had failed me and I had walked to the library, I know it's not healthy to doubt yourself that much, but I do it all the time, hence my standardized test scores are not phenomenal).
But I have two more classes, so I must bite my tongue and hurry off. Four hours later free from the droning of my professors I walk out to my car. Missing my bike all the more as the half-mile between the parking garages and my classes takes much longer than I'm used to. Arriving at my car I make my way to the UCF Police Dept. to fill out a theft report and go on with my day, returning home to tell my roommate Eric of my joyous adventures.
My grandma calls, checking in since it has been awhile since we spoke. She asks if I was trying to make it "Thursday the 13th" upon my recollection of the days events. But she reminds me that the lack of real damage to my rear bumper makes it all not that bad. And this is true, no need for insurance exchanges and the like since the impact hadn't really done much more than shake the car and send my mound of coins all over the car (even now I have yet to gather them up). I read, I eat dinner, I sleep.
In the morning I make my way to the Student Union for my appeal. Sitting in a chairless hallway for half an hour reading before I am called in.
My fate is to be decided by a student who obviously isn't a Physics major, and an old tanned man with three teeth. Now when I say three teeth a few people have said "in front?" to which I reply "no three teeth in the entirety of his mouth."
I tell my tale of the complete lack of parking on campus. How the first three days of classes I would leave an hour before class, and every floor of every parking garage would have five cars circling (this is not an exaggeration), every parking lot much the same, at least one car already hovering in every row. I had to park in what was not truly a parking space two out of those three days. And I was also fifteen minutes or more late. Tired of this (dare I say it?) madness, I pull up the campus map to plan out my morning route a bit better. I look and see that a new parking garage has been constructed beside our new stadium just on the edge of campus. Over 3000 feet from the center of campus (I've looked at a map with a legend, it is that far). It is labeled F Events Garage, but the campus map has it warmingly colored green for D pass student parking.
Upon arriving the next morning I find about ten other cars parked in the entirety of the garage, all having their own D passes like mine. I make my way on campus and go about my day.
The student member of my jury tries to argue with me that I shouldn't have parked there, I should have kept circling campus looking for a spot. I explain to him that I did that, and putting aside the wastefulness of the act (and on the parking website in bold type they even exclaim that everyone should do this, just keep driving around, burning gas, lovely) I looked for another place to park because of the fruitlessness of driving around.
The three-toothed old man proclaimed "that is not a parking map, you shouldn't have paid attention to it." I have been going to this school for two years and a semester now, it wasn't until now that I knew there was a separate parking map. And if there is, shouldn't we be handed one with our parking pass? I have had two and never received one. But beyond that, this is purely absurd. In essence he is telling me I should doubt an official document. And yet this seems perfectly logical to both members of my jury, so my ticket is not overturned.
However there is hope, I can make one more appeal through our wonderful Student Government Association. You know, those people who every September show up in strange shirts demanding we vote. We don't know who or what we vote for, perhaps a few debates are held between the two "parties" running, but I never hear about them aside from a short article in the school newspaper. But apparently their responsible for those free tickets to Universal we get whenever universal is short on cash and needs us to come in and buy stuff in their gift stores, or pay $8 for a defrosted chicken sandwich. Join me in a chorus like "Yum."
So I email them for a request for an appeal, and am scheduled for the next Friday. Hmmm, seems to be a pattern here.
Once again the weekly cycle begins. Monday head on campus to get some pre-lab and homework done, and hit up Chick-Fil-A for some lunch (I don't love it, but it's that or Burger King, or the expensive Wackadoos, though now and then I do go to the on campus Einstein Bagels, but I prefer to save that for if I need a snack in between my evening classes.) The week passes by and here comes Friday. My day, a day for justice to be served, my plea will be heard, the faceless Man will be put in his place, the system will work.
I arrive at the SGA office at the Student Union and wait to be called to the conference room. Instead of two people, this time an entire room (maybe more than a dozen people if not at least a dozen) of SGA members, students like me. Half male, half female, some in suits, some in casual clothes, one in a ROTC uniform. I joke with them how Parking Services only assigned me two people, the guy in the uniform jokes that they’re here to listen. Little did I know it really was a joke and nothing more.
I lay out the same story, I present the same print out of the official campus map showing the Events garage being labeled student parking. I state I'm not asking that I be allowed to continue parking there again, but just that this be a warning, I did not know I couldn't park there until I received the ticket. The room full of faces made it a bit hard to remember everything I wanted to say, to my downfall I forgot to make a larger point of the fact that the campus map showed it as student parking, and that was why I parked there.
I am asked to leave the room while they deliberate. While I wait outside I chuckle to myself that I'm no longer surprised that SGA gets nothing done. It doesn't require twelve people to deal with a parking ticket; if they are all in there, something isn't getting done. An odd number, three or more, is enough to handle any simple case. I am called back in, at which point the uniformed student informs me.
"Parking Services specifically says we can't overturn tickets when the main reason is lack of convenient parking, so we can't help you." I automatically thank them for their time, grab my backpack, and leave. Only seconds after stepping out realizing I should have replied.
"There is a difference between lack of convenient parking and lack of parking period. I did not park there because lack of 'convenient' parking, this garage is at the very edge of campus, far from anywhere I need to be. I parked there because the official campus map informed me I was allowed to."
But those who know me well know that I'm always thinking five steps ahead but in action I'm two steps behind. And once I stepped out that room it was over. $25 moves from me to the university and its Uncle Scrooge like money vault.
Like every semester, I once again get that feeling that I'm part of a minority of sane people on this campus. Of course thoughts like that are usually said to be signs of insanity. But just maybe the crazy ones like their majority and want to pretend their the level ones. But when it feels like arm wrestling would accomplish more in dealing with almost anything on this campus, am I the crazy one?
So that brings us halfway through September. Tune in next time for the following three weeks recap.
The first week I received two tickets for parking in the Events garage (which was labeled student parking on the official campus map), and for not having a parking pass displayed (even though it was in fact hanging from my rearview mirror, but with the parking services meter maids being men over the age of 60 who can barely get in and out of their official looking Parking Services Dodge pickup I'm not surprised they can't see a bright green envelope sized piece of plastic hanging in a windshield. So the next week I get scheduled for an appeal of the ticket for the next Friday.
Ok move along, but slowly, because I've been hit with a flu shipped first class from Malaysia; I can't breath, I'm feverish, and my head feels like if you tapped it, you just might pop it. Then as the flu finally settles on congesting my chest and nothing more, I get rear ended on the way to school due to the average Orlando residents lacking the ability to properly make right turns. I make it on campus only to find they've closed down one of the main student parking garages "For Event." Oh cruel irony, and they've closed it all day for something happening at 8pm tonight? Shakespeare, you've met your match.
No matter, I'm cool, I'm hip, I deal, I study, I go to class, I'm fine. I enjoy my Chick-Fil-A sandwich and potato waffles like any other day and head to the library, parking my bike and secluding myself to a half lit desk to try and get caught up in reading for a few classes. Two hours later I step out back into the world, stopping short at the bottom of the library steps when I look where I had left my bike. Keyword "had." For now it is nowhere to be found, not even at any of the bike racks I had left it at before (I checked in case my memory had failed me and I had walked to the library, I know it's not healthy to doubt yourself that much, but I do it all the time, hence my standardized test scores are not phenomenal).
But I have two more classes, so I must bite my tongue and hurry off. Four hours later free from the droning of my professors I walk out to my car. Missing my bike all the more as the half-mile between the parking garages and my classes takes much longer than I'm used to. Arriving at my car I make my way to the UCF Police Dept. to fill out a theft report and go on with my day, returning home to tell my roommate Eric of my joyous adventures.
My grandma calls, checking in since it has been awhile since we spoke. She asks if I was trying to make it "Thursday the 13th" upon my recollection of the days events. But she reminds me that the lack of real damage to my rear bumper makes it all not that bad. And this is true, no need for insurance exchanges and the like since the impact hadn't really done much more than shake the car and send my mound of coins all over the car (even now I have yet to gather them up). I read, I eat dinner, I sleep.
In the morning I make my way to the Student Union for my appeal. Sitting in a chairless hallway for half an hour reading before I am called in.
My fate is to be decided by a student who obviously isn't a Physics major, and an old tanned man with three teeth. Now when I say three teeth a few people have said "in front?" to which I reply "no three teeth in the entirety of his mouth."
I tell my tale of the complete lack of parking on campus. How the first three days of classes I would leave an hour before class, and every floor of every parking garage would have five cars circling (this is not an exaggeration), every parking lot much the same, at least one car already hovering in every row. I had to park in what was not truly a parking space two out of those three days. And I was also fifteen minutes or more late. Tired of this (dare I say it?) madness, I pull up the campus map to plan out my morning route a bit better. I look and see that a new parking garage has been constructed beside our new stadium just on the edge of campus. Over 3000 feet from the center of campus (I've looked at a map with a legend, it is that far). It is labeled F Events Garage, but the campus map has it warmingly colored green for D pass student parking.
Upon arriving the next morning I find about ten other cars parked in the entirety of the garage, all having their own D passes like mine. I make my way on campus and go about my day.
The student member of my jury tries to argue with me that I shouldn't have parked there, I should have kept circling campus looking for a spot. I explain to him that I did that, and putting aside the wastefulness of the act (and on the parking website in bold type they even exclaim that everyone should do this, just keep driving around, burning gas, lovely) I looked for another place to park because of the fruitlessness of driving around.
The three-toothed old man proclaimed "that is not a parking map, you shouldn't have paid attention to it." I have been going to this school for two years and a semester now, it wasn't until now that I knew there was a separate parking map. And if there is, shouldn't we be handed one with our parking pass? I have had two and never received one. But beyond that, this is purely absurd. In essence he is telling me I should doubt an official document. And yet this seems perfectly logical to both members of my jury, so my ticket is not overturned.
However there is hope, I can make one more appeal through our wonderful Student Government Association. You know, those people who every September show up in strange shirts demanding we vote. We don't know who or what we vote for, perhaps a few debates are held between the two "parties" running, but I never hear about them aside from a short article in the school newspaper. But apparently their responsible for those free tickets to Universal we get whenever universal is short on cash and needs us to come in and buy stuff in their gift stores, or pay $8 for a defrosted chicken sandwich. Join me in a chorus like "Yum."
So I email them for a request for an appeal, and am scheduled for the next Friday. Hmmm, seems to be a pattern here.
Once again the weekly cycle begins. Monday head on campus to get some pre-lab and homework done, and hit up Chick-Fil-A for some lunch (I don't love it, but it's that or Burger King, or the expensive Wackadoos, though now and then I do go to the on campus Einstein Bagels, but I prefer to save that for if I need a snack in between my evening classes.) The week passes by and here comes Friday. My day, a day for justice to be served, my plea will be heard, the faceless Man will be put in his place, the system will work.
I arrive at the SGA office at the Student Union and wait to be called to the conference room. Instead of two people, this time an entire room (maybe more than a dozen people if not at least a dozen) of SGA members, students like me. Half male, half female, some in suits, some in casual clothes, one in a ROTC uniform. I joke with them how Parking Services only assigned me two people, the guy in the uniform jokes that they’re here to listen. Little did I know it really was a joke and nothing more.
I lay out the same story, I present the same print out of the official campus map showing the Events garage being labeled student parking. I state I'm not asking that I be allowed to continue parking there again, but just that this be a warning, I did not know I couldn't park there until I received the ticket. The room full of faces made it a bit hard to remember everything I wanted to say, to my downfall I forgot to make a larger point of the fact that the campus map showed it as student parking, and that was why I parked there.
I am asked to leave the room while they deliberate. While I wait outside I chuckle to myself that I'm no longer surprised that SGA gets nothing done. It doesn't require twelve people to deal with a parking ticket; if they are all in there, something isn't getting done. An odd number, three or more, is enough to handle any simple case. I am called back in, at which point the uniformed student informs me.
"Parking Services specifically says we can't overturn tickets when the main reason is lack of convenient parking, so we can't help you." I automatically thank them for their time, grab my backpack, and leave. Only seconds after stepping out realizing I should have replied.
"There is a difference between lack of convenient parking and lack of parking period. I did not park there because lack of 'convenient' parking, this garage is at the very edge of campus, far from anywhere I need to be. I parked there because the official campus map informed me I was allowed to."
But those who know me well know that I'm always thinking five steps ahead but in action I'm two steps behind. And once I stepped out that room it was over. $25 moves from me to the university and its Uncle Scrooge like money vault.
Like every semester, I once again get that feeling that I'm part of a minority of sane people on this campus. Of course thoughts like that are usually said to be signs of insanity. But just maybe the crazy ones like their majority and want to pretend their the level ones. But when it feels like arm wrestling would accomplish more in dealing with almost anything on this campus, am I the crazy one?
So that brings us halfway through September. Tune in next time for the following three weeks recap.
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